I hope you find someone you can’t live without.I really do. And I hope you never have to know what it’s like to have to try and live without them.
It is easy to love people in memory; the hard thing is to love them when they are there in front of you.
Then there is the boy you can never stop thinking about. Whenever you see his name, it trips you up. Even if it’s one that belongs to many others, even if he belongs to someone else.
You know he is a symbol of your weakness, your Kryptonite. How he rushes in like wildfire and burns through everything you worked so hard to build since he last left you in ashes.
I miss the way you used to hold my hand when i complained about being cold as if that would fix everything and its kind of funny because somehow it did or maybe it was just the fact that when you sat closer and slipped your fingers through mine i forgot how to breath let alone forgot about the chill that ran through my bones at least the one caused by the wheather because the one you sent up my spine hasn’t quite left yet even after all this time, not that im complaining because if it were up to me i would want that cold to last forever because maybe that way even after i forget your minty kisses and comforting smell i’ll still be left with the ever present sweater that i took from you all those nights ago although even if the chill goes away and the sweater brings to much heat i’ll probably just suffer because sometimes you have to hold on no matter what and you my dear are one of those times.
I still want you, and I still want your everything. I never stopped wanting you. Even when you said that you no longer wanted me. But it’s always been like this for us, hasn’t it? Someone always longing for someone who doesn’t even know what it is that they want and who they will end up sharing it with. But I don’t care about how many people you have loved while I was away because I still want you, I still want this, and I will always still want us.
- 4:15 a.m. (Unsent)